Well, it's Sunday night and here I am doing what I do 7 nights a week. I consider Sunday night to be "TV Night" on account of it being Family Guy, Simpsons, Desperate Housewives, and Grey's Anatomy night. I'm actually a little bummed however since it's May Sweeps and all my shows are ending. "What About Brian" just starts a little more than a month ago and it's already on its season finale. I'm really not up for killer cliffhangers that don't get resolved until several months later but what can you do.
The semester is over in less than a month and I couldn't be more nervous. Why? Well, I'm really just worried I'll mess up. AND... I really want a 4.0 out of Pierce but I'm still worried. I'm fine in both my Political Science classes which has made me have a more positive vibe at Valley College. My easy ass journalism and cinema classes maybe my undoing however since I missed several meetings and missed out on mucho points. We'll see how it works out. Still, there's absolutely no way I can mess up my GPA since the worse that I can get are Bs. Blah! I really want to get my ass out of here though. Never going to look back.
With the end of the semester however comes summer vacation. (WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) I'm probably still going to stick around at Pierce for work but without classes, things will pretty much be the same? Crap! Well hopefully with people coming home, there'll be more activity in this desolate valley but who knows? I'm not much of the out-going type anyways. I have prom with Dian next month sometime as well. My pockets are going to get raped but oh well. I never really did lose that weight I promised myself I'd lose. My mind's been elsewhere. Maybe now that things are settled, I should work on that again. LOL... make sure I frequent Wooden Center at UCLA.
In July, I finally get to go back to Hawaii. (Woooo?) To be honest, I'm not that excited. Yes, it'll be relaxing and beautiful... but being secluded on an island with my family and no friends... I don't know so much about that. I think I'm going to do a bit of photography and hiking on Kauai. It's really the nicest looking island and has a bunch of those waterfalls that are just so damn cool. I really wish I could go with friends. Maybe I'll make some friends who are willing to pay for the ticket over there. I have access to the timeshare so yeah. It's going to be the last time I'll be with the family so it'll be a nice time to relish in good memories. Still, I really would like to go there alone with Dian. That'd be nice... really nice.
Reading Kailen's LJ entry and a lot of other people's makes me feel really inadequete. There are so many opportunities and yet I feel so constrained just to get out of the house sometimes. Maybe I'm just lazy. Being a community college student really does a lot to one's pride though. I feel so inadequete and low. I feel like everyone that's out there is so much better than I am. I really hope that feeling doesn't continue over with a stigma of being a "transfer student" but that's just how I feel. I hate being constrained and confined. I'm destined to do great things and I know I have the potential to do so much more. I hope UCLA will cultivate that aspect of me. I'm gonna be something big. I'm going to be just as great... even greater than all of you who doubt me and don't.
Thinking over things this past week has made me feel rejuvinated. I feel like I can finally crawl out of this purgatory and transcend to the next level of my life. Now... I just need to do it. I want to start my life. I'm ready. I want to have a relaxing summer but at the same time I want to start something big. There's always next summer I guess. I don't know. Things feel rushed because I basically skipped a year of college. Actually, it feels a lot more like two years. Thinking about LSATs, upperdivs, a career?! It's all too soon. I'd like to relish in the college life a bit as well. Still, I gotta get to doing those "great things", right? It still blows my mind how I haxored my way to junior year. Heh...
Thanks for reading this.
Affirmation. Rejuvination. Transcendance.
Current Mood: 
mellow
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